April 12th, 2018
I’m sitting at professor’s lake, alone. It’s beautiful outside and the sunset is sinking. The breeze is blowing, the birds are chirping, and the water is almost still. I am thankful for the events that have unfolded over the course of the past couple of months- the good, and bad. I am unbelievably humbled and grateful. I am thankful to have such loving people in my life, who support my vision and goals. My loving family, as well as my loving friends who do the most. They are constantly protecting and looking out for me- only wanting the best. Universe, how did I ever get so lucky?
I’m sitting on a bench. I was waiting for Chanti to join me, but now I am kind of happy she got stuck in traffic (sorry if you’re reading this Chants!! I really needed this alone time, however, I shall see you tonight). I have an unpredictable journey ahead of me…I really don’t know what to expect of anything. I haven’t prepared much and it still hasn’t hit me. All I know is that in this moment, I am genuinely happy with who I am and where I am. Without the external validation- I am grateful for being me. Have you ever asked yourself, without the career, car, and home….”Who am I?”. We tend to attach ourselves to physicality when in reality none of these things define who we are as individuals. I am now discovering who I am, detaching from the external validation.
I don’t mean to get too philosophical on all of you. I am just happy with who I am and where I am, being me. I’ve come to realize that there is no perfect time to love yourself…and it definitely will not begin when you get the car of your dreams, the career you’ve always wanted, or when you finally lose the weight. Living in the “NOW” relies on merely accepting what is presented, without criticizing or judging- unconditionally loving it for what it is. Without the grades, the career, the car, the way I look…I have grown to love myself, with my success and with my failures (and many, many flaws). Words cannot express the love in my heart, and the gratitude I feel for living the life I live. I don’t live a perfect life- none of us do. All we can do is make it a life worth living, by fulfilling our greatest passions. Fulfilling our dharma, and doing what essentially makes us happiest. I am trying to enjoy the little things.
I am trying to smell the roses.